Why Responsibilities are Important in Time Management

We don’t control our time. 

Every morning I wake up at 5am.  It doesn’t matter what time I sleep.  My eyes open at 5am.

Sometimes I oversleep but that’s more of the exception than the rule.  I wake up at 5am, Mondays to Sundays, and holidays.  It’s rare I don’t. 

I wake up at 5am because I have a routine.  I feed my pet cats and birds first thing in the morning.  I blog or work out afterwards.  I then eat breakfast, change, and go to work. 

Can I change my routine?  Sure.  But there’s a price to pay if I do.  Waking up later would put me on a rush to finish my routine and likely make me late for work.  Waking up earlier would deprive me of needed sleep and that would be just outright unhealthy; I’ll end up sick. 

People who say we can take control of our time say we have the freedom to choose what time we wake and what we can schedule for our day.  They are probably people who have routines that don’t have much in the way of responsibilities.  But most of us have responsibilities and because of these, we trade off control of our time to fulfilling them. 

Can we change our responsibilities?  Sure.  But again, there’ll be a price to pay. 

Part of my routine is to spend an hour every evening after dinner to play a game with my sister and 93-year-old mother.  It is an hour that I could have used for myself such as surfing social media on my smartphone.  But I don’t opt for that because my routine includes a responsibility I’ve adopted to bond with family at least for an hour a day. 

When so-called time management experts say we can take control of our time, they don’t mention that there are trade-offs when we do.  Whatever decision we make about how we spend our time will involve trade-offs.  And in many cases, they are costly. 

If I wanted to, I can find my own place, where I can sleep and wake whenever I want, and I can schedule whatever time to eat and what to do at nights.  What I have to trade off to do so would be not caring for my pet animals, not working out or blogging, not being at the office on schedule, and not spending time with my mother and sister, all of which are what I’ve defined as my responsibilities. 

Time management experts may say we have choices about what to be responsible for.  What they don’t say is we need to choose what our responsibilities are before we manage how we will plan and decide our days. 

Responsibilities are the results of knowing what truly are the more important things in our lives.  We define our values first, set standards and goals, and then plan our routines.  We decide what we want to do based on what we want within (our values). 

I didn’t make this up by the way; Stephen Covey did. 

Stephen Covey (+), creator of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, espoused the freedom to choose via proactivity, the development of a mission in life, and time management by doing things important to that mission first. 

When we manage our time relevant to our values and mission, we go on a track towards independence and fulfilment. 

The routines we set are acts of decision we freely chose.  As we get to do them, we commit ourselves to doing them habitually day in and day out. 

There would be times we’d wonder if we had lost control of our time as we do the same things over and over.  We’d wonder if we have become trapped in which it would seem our routines have taken over us.  This curiosity and eventual soul-searching become even more pronounced when we seem to be not achieving much over a period of time or when we turn down invitations to events because our routines would be in conflict.  We’d ask ourselves if we’re on the right track or if we’re doing the right thing.  We question if we had lost control of our time.

Stephen Covey would remind us that not only setting routines but also being proactive and having a mission are habits, that is, they are practices we do repeatedly.  We just don’t do routines.  We also either re-commit to them or change them as per the values which we review and the subsequent choices we make towards them. 

In short, we adopt our responsibilities because we chose to do so not just once but repeatedly over time.  When we take on responsibilities because we want to, we then edit and commit to our routines.  Our freedom does not lie in the controlling the here and now but what we commit to be responsible for. 

We don’t control our time.  We control our responsibilities. 

About Overtimers Anonymous

Six Reasons Why We Don’t Need A Purpose in Life

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?  –Charles M. Schulz

Do we need a purpose in life?

Many so-called gurus would say yes.  We need to have one in order to have a direction.  A purpose gives rationale to our life.  A purpose gives each of us a unique reason for existence.  

Some of us, however, don’t have a clear purpose. If we were asked and if we answer in the negative, sometimes we would be chastised for not having one and the one asking would insist we have one and we should spend a considerable amount of time formulating one. 

Rather than wracking our brains finding a purpose, some of us plainly don’t need one for six (6) reasons:

First:  We’re not beholden to any person, group, or cause.

Some people say we should have a purpose and the people who usually say this are those who are looking for followers for their own causes.  Religious groups, for instance, have been notorious throughout history for preaching that we all have the purpose of being a follower of their god or gods.  If we follow them, we would be rewarded with eternal life and a place in heaven. Not following would doom us to hell or eternal punishment. 

Political activists also attempt to enroll individuals to their cause.  And similar to religious organizations, they would work hard to convince us to submission. 

Endless streaming of information in the internet age bombard us constantly about causes we should support, if not join.  We should fight climate change.  We should combat hunger.  We should help refugees.  We should change our lifestyle.  We should join a network to get rich.  The messages that pressure us go on and on. 

We aren’t beholden to anyone’s causes or dogma.  We don’t owe anyone anything in the first place.  We as individuals have the freedom to choose what we want or how we want to lead our lives (within the bounds of whatever rules at wherever we live in of course).  We also have the choice of whether we want to have a purpose or not.    

Second:  On the other hand, some of us are really meant to be followers.

Not all individuals are meant to be leaders.  Not all of us want to be leaders.  Some of us would just rather follow someone else. 

This doesn’t mean that we are enrolled mind and heart to the mission of someone else.  We follow because of the benefits. 

Many employees of businesses go to work because they simply need the money and the benefits that go with it.  We do what our bosses tell us to do and we nod when our employers preach about the business’s visions and ideals.  But when it’s time to go home, we leave all of that behind. 

Some of us join religious or political groups because we just want to meet friends.  Some of us like to join groups because there’s free food in meetings.  (I’m not kidding, I’ve met people who go to Sunday church services just because of the free food). 

Some of us join as followers because it makes for a better alternative than to have a purpose of one’s own.  Some people would say these people have nothing better to do.  I would say these people have chosen something they believe gives them the benefits they want.  They may not have their own direction but they did make their own choices.  And maybe that’s all that matters.

Third:  Not everything is certain.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”  -John Lennon

There is nothing certain in life.  Tomorrow is another day.  We don’t know what will happen next year, the next day, or the next minute.

We believe in these principles but yet pro-purpose-in-life people still think we should have a rock-solid purpose to determine our direction. 

We can make a purpose that visualizes our values, principles, and goals, and we can write them down in one beautiful statement.  But all it would take is one swoop of reality to tear them all apart. 

Okay, a well-made purpose, according to the pro-purpose people, is supposed to act as an anchor against what life hurls at us.  It should form a foundation of where we stand in making decisions or when we are facing tests and temptations. 

But if we adopt a purpose just for the sake that we think we need one, chances are we would be tying ourselves down to stuff that we are not really interested in the first place. For example, if a person adopts a purpose to do social work for his local community, he might make himself too busy with obligations in his neighborhood that he’d have no more time to travel out of town which might be something he originally wanted to do.    

Fourth:  Life can be just as much fun acting on a whim than having to pursue a purpose

Many of us like to travel.  Some of us change careers every few years.  Some of us like to taste new food or appreciate art.  And some of us just want to escape and be left alone somewhere.   But we don’t do it because we say we are too busy or we don’t have the money.  Sometimes we say it’s because our parents won’t allow us even if we’re already 50 years old. 

We then adopt a purpose to try to define our own direction or escape route.  By experience, it doesn’t work.  No matter how desirable we make our dream via an adopted purpose, a purpose for the sake of finding a way out of our current life offers no respite from the realities we dread. 

We’re much better off acting sometimes on a whim.  I’ve known happy people, young and old, who travel without much planning.  I’ve known happy people who decide to learn a new craft, like pottery.  They sometimes do it with their children and it becomes a happier experience.  And I’ve known families who decide to drop everything out of the blue so they can go to the beach. 

Some people frown when we do things on a whim or for no rational reason.  Travelling for example several times out of the year can be criticized as spending too much time or money from what we should really be doing.  Critics would say we should be doing something more useful for society rather than just gallivant aimlessly around the world.

But being aimless is sometimes good for us. Going to other places, doing different things help us gain new experiences.  And if it makes us happier, then who cares?

Fifth:  Being aimless can lead us to success

A good friend of mine had no clear direction in her career.  She started out as a temporary worker.  Next thing I knew she was in Japan doing on-the-job training.  Someone liked her personality and hired her to come back home to sell software to banks.  After a couple of years, she moved to the United States to work as a web developer.  After another few years, she set up her own audio-visual production business.  Today she helps her local parish church and earns a living as a real estate broker. 

My friend is happy.  She met very good friends from Japan and the US.  She developed new skills and is presently gaining new ones as a real estate broker.  She finds fulfillment helping people at church.  And she is financially secure. 

She didn’t set any limits or boundaries to what she can do.  Her life’s path seemed aimless but that didn’t stop her from pursuing fulfillment by trying new things. 

Sixth: There is no need to be ambitious or that passionate.

Some of us just want peace of mind or are happy with what we have. Some of us just want a simple life without any complications or too many obligations. 

Being too passionate about a purpose can cause us to lose focus on the simpler things in life.  We’d be spending much time chasing something we think we believe in and less time smelling the flowers or just living well with what we have. 

We hear about executives who retire early so they can spend more time with their families.  Many people from Europe allocate weeks or months to travel to Asia and South America to see or experience new places. 

We also hear about ambitious managers who work very long hours to try to get that promotion at work.  Or that environmental activist who risks life and limb to defend a forest in the middle of nowhere. 

Being driven with ambition can actually be good especially if it will end up helping society but sometimes we just have to pause, take a break, and ask if it’s really worth it.  In some cases, it’s not. 

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying having a purpose is bad.  What I’m saying is we shouldn’t be pressured to have one because maybe we don’t really need one.  No matter what other people say, sometimes we can live without a purpose and still enjoy life and even help society at the same time. 

About Overtimers Anonymous